jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
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Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car