i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.