This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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