I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
