Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
