People with herpes should wear stickers.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
