sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
