i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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