So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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