Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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