When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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