her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
