$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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