you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
we should paint friendship bongs
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