Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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