Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
