I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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