She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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