Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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