tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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