It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
