tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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