protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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