Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You can't special order awesome
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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