I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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