I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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