You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
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you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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