'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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