Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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