Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
