flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
