If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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