I wish I could teleport
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
