Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
