Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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