I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just google imaged poop.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
