So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
