K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
