I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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