I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
