thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
