I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
