I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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