I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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