Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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