dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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