The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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