Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
