I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
