Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
