Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
