He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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