My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
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