Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
