Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
