so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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