They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
