she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
