Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i will never coherently bang her
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
