...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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