Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
