just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
