I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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