I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
