You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
