just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
